Connecting with the Divine

I think I realized something about myself yesterday. The way in which I am able to connect and commune with God is from the exchange of thoughts and ideas. This is generally the way in which God "speaks" to me. It's not that we exchange audible words, but that I'm able to tell him my thoughts and he tells me his. His thoughts come from places like books, heartfelt conversations with people and hymns.

I get a lot from God when I read books; I think that's why I enjoy reading so much. He quite often shows me nuggets (or rocks) of wisdom from "Christian literature". I've received something from every one of those types of books. I can read such books for hours and I will feel more alive when I'm done than when I started. I still need to cultivate divine insight when reading "secular literature".

I've been created in a way where I feel like I connect with people if I've talked with them in "deep conversations". Conversations which I consider deep are ones where I feel like I've been able to talk with a person in a real and honest way. Where I feel like I've learned a bit of who he really is, and not the mask he puts up for people. The heart of the matter is that I've been able to exchange ideas and thoughts with her. From that, God has spoken to me about human nature, about life, about whatever God wants me to learn. And hopefully I've been able to speak God to him as well. These conversations can last hours, early in the morning, and I will still feel more awake at the end than at the beginning.

It's interesting, but I've found that out of all types of songs that praise God, hymns speak to me the most. I almost always get goosebumps and chills when singing hymns, and I think it's because they are so packed with theology (thoughts about God). As I sing them, I learn or am reminded of who God is, what God thinks of me, what he has done for me, etc.. Those thoughts, by stimulating my mind, touch my heart. It's easier for me to feel joy, forgiveness, gratitude, freedom, when I know why.

I think this is why I am looking forward to seminary. I am hoping that God will speak to my heart in immense ways as my mind is filled with God-thoughts. That I will experience shalom in my life as I study the Old Testament. That my life will be filled with hope as I learn what God will do in the end. And that I find true salvation in my heart as I learn about and meditate on the Cross and Resurrection.